id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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