At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize