cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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