she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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