i wish my penis had a tongue
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
