I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
His nipple licking is glorious
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
