Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
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