Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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