I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
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the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
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Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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