My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
