Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
