Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
handjob tips. give me some.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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