I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
