Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
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I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
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I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.