38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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