And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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