...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
