You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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