I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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