i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
then he tried to convert me to islam
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
