Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
