i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You've changed since you got that strap on
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
