I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
