Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
