I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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