i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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