Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
