To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
