also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
