You really coming over, don't trick.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
