So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
