Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
