I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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