Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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