I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
