You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
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he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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