my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
