You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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