no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
