Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
