I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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