What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
