My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
