so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
