True but thats because hes a fetus.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
