I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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