actually, I'm a sock model
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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