'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
