if only i could text you this smell
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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