so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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