And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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