hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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