Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
