hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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