Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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