Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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