I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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