No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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